Archive for the ‘Interesting Items’ Category

Interesting title, I have decided to write about who are you and what do you want. Because so many of us wander around on this planet not know who we are or knowing what to do!

So first of all, who are you?  What do you currently do for a living and are you happy with the job you currently have?

I know I am asking lots of questions of you all, but it is for a reason and the reason is to identify what is right for you! Because by doing a job that you are either not suited to or are not happy with, can lead to you feeling down, under pressure. Which if you do not deal with can lead to stress and for your confidence and self esteem taking a basing at the same time.

Why did you choose your current role / job? Ask yourself if you know what you know now about the job, if you were applying for the role for the first time, tomorrow, would you! If you could say yes, then you probably have chosen the right career path for you.

But if you can say no I would definitely not, then we need to look at why? And what are the learns about your experience that you can incorporate into any future opportunities you look for.

So how do you set about identifying what is right for you, to be honest you should get yourself  a Life / Business Coach to help and guide you to a natural conclusion! The reason I say this is because everyone including myself will not ask ourselves the right questions, because we can avoid any difficult ones that put us on the spot. Secondly we are not always honest with ourselves and think we know best, but without help it is not always possible to come to the right conclusions.

If you do decide to go it alone, remember what has not worked for you in the past, take the learns you have gained and put them to good use in any future decisions you decide to make. Then challenge yourself about what is important to you.

What things do you enjoy doing?

What makes you happy the most?

What skills do you currently have?

What qualifications do you currently have?

What qualifications do you need to achieve what you want?

There are loads more questions that you need to consider to enable you to come to the right decision.

Then  you have to record the options you have available to you and then go through the pro’s & con’s of each option.

Once you have decided on the correct option for you then you need to know how to go about achieving this option!

Then there is the how?

Yes how do I go about achieving what you want?

What is required?

What support do you need?

What qualifications if any do you need?

Who do you need to contact to enable you to achieve your goals?

Set yourself time scales, when do you want to achieve you goal by?

Can you do it on your own, do y0u have enough resources yourself?

If not who else can help or support you in achieving your goal?

Provided you have a process to follow and to enable you to move towards your true goal and you focus on that goal you will get your desired outcome!

Timothy Galway – says that everybody has the ability to achieve what they want in life, and he uses a formula which is:-

The Formula is – Performance = Potential – (minus) Interference.  Which is simple, yet so powerful you, because it is simply staying you get what you focus on and avoid any distractions / interference!

If you want to contact me or need advice, please contact me and lets get you on the right path to your chosen career.

Martin

 

What do I mean by the above title?

There have been lots of articles and discussions over the last twelve months or so, about looking at the bigger picture and where we fit within it. This progressed into people and politicians talking about how the Big Society, which is made up of individuals, fitted into the Big Picture?

The reason behind all these thoughts and discussions, is quite simple really, because we all play a part in both. And we fit in on so many different levels as well, i.e. as a person what we bring to the world?

Then as a brother, sister, son, daughter, mother, father, etc. etc. then you have the impacts and consequences (causes & effects we provide) whilst we are on this planet. When you look at the interactions we all undertake throughout our lives along with causes & effects they all have, you can see a massive chain reaction which takes place, purely based on an individual action which also  has a ripple effect far beyond what we had intended originally.

So politicians at long last have started to wake up and realise their own causes & effects which take place, every time they implement any changes, the subsequent outcomes directly impacts on the business world, families right down the an individual level.

What they have also recognised during this realisation is that everyone has to be involved in the Big Society, from top to bottom. If sections of the Big Society are left out, whether by accident or deliberate, there is always a negative outcome which impacts on society and in turn a bit like a dominos effect carries on long after the initial change.

That is why it is so important for everyone to have the opportunity to be able to play a part within society and to feel valued . We are only here once (as far as we know) so lets all play a part in changing things for the better, remember the Big Society is only part of the Big Picture, .i.e. environment, animals, plants, the world etc. etc.

A fully active and interactive society generates positivity which in turn aids everyone to be part of society and help to shape the Big Picture, so that everyone benefits from  the Big Society taking a responsibility for not just the humans but for the greater benefit of the World / Planet.

 

 

 

 

People most at risk from stress (Further information which I have researched and thought you would enjoy from businessballs.com)

In one US study as many as 40% of workers described their jobs as very stressful. While not a scientific gauge and not measuring serious stress health problems, this gives some indication as to how prevalent work-related stress is. As regards official health records, in the UK, the nursing and teaching occupations are most affected by work-related stress, with 2% of workers at any one time suffering from work-related stress, depression and anxiety. (The figure for teachers rises to 4% when including physical conditions relating to stress.) Care workers, managers and professionals are the next highest affected occupations, with over 1% suffering from serious work-related stress at any one time. UK HSE work-related stress statistics suggest that work-related stress affects men and women in equal numbers, and that people in the 45-retirement age suffer more than younger people. More socially-based USA research suggests that the following American social groups are more prone to stress (this therefore not limited to work-related stress): young adults, women, working mothers, less educated people, divorced or widowed people, the unemployed, isolated people, people without health insurance, city dwellers. Combined with the factors affecting stress susceptibility (detailed below), it’s not difficult to see that virtually no-one is immune from stress. An American poll found that 89% of respondents had experienced serious stress at some point in their lives. The threat from stress is perceived so strongly in Japan that the Japanese even have a word for sudden death due to overwork, ‘karoushi’.

work-related stress trends

Data is sparse and confused (stress statistics are also complicated by metal health reporting in the UK), but the statistics do indicate certain growth. In the UK HSE statistics indicate a doubling of reported clinical cases between 1990 and 1999. Working days lost per annum appear to have been about 6.5 million in the mid-1990′s, but rose to over 13 million by 2001. Greater awareness of the stress ailment in reporting no doubt accounts for some of this variance, but one thing’s for sure: the number of people suffering from work-related stress isn’t reducing.

costs of stress

UK HSE statistics suggest stress-related costs to UK employers in the region of £700m every year. The cost of stress to society is estimated at £7bn pa. (These figures were respectively £350m and £3.7bn in 1995/6 when total days lost were half present levels.)

stress causes

Stress is caused by various factors – not all of which are work-related of course, (which incidentally doesn’t reduce the employer’s obligation to protect against the causes of stress at work). Causes of stress – known as stressors – are in two categories: external stressors and internal stressors.

external stressors – physical conditions such as heat or cold, stressful psychological environments such as working conditions and abusive relationships, eg., bullying.

internal stressors – physical ailments such as infection or inflammation, or psychological problems such as worrying about something.

From the above, it is easy to see that work can be a source of both external and internal stressors.

Stressors are also described as either short-term (acute) or long-term (chronic):

Short-term ‘acute’ stress is the reaction to immediate threat, also known as the fight or flight response. This is when the primitive part of the brain and certain chemicals within the brain cause a reaction to potentially harmful stressors or warnings (just as if preparing the body to run away or defend itself), such as noise, over-crowding, danger, bullying or harassment, or even an imagined or recalled threatening experience. When the threat subsides the body returns to normal, which is called the ‘relaxation response’. (NB The relaxation response among people varies; ie., people recover from acute stress at different rates.)
Long-term ‘chronic’ stressors are those pressures which are ongoing and continuous, when the urge to fight or flight has been suppressed. Examples of chronic stressors include: ongoing pressurised work, ongoing relationship problems, isolation, and persistent financial worries.
The working environment can generate both acute and chronic stressors, but is more likely to be a source of chronic stressors.

Stress effects on health and performance

Stress is proven beyond doubt to make people ill, and evidence is increasing as to number of ailments and diseases caused by stress. Stress is now known to contribute to heart disease; it causes hypertension and high blood pressure, and impairs the immune system. Stress is also linked to strokes, IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), ulcers, diabetes, muscle and joint pain, miscarriage during pregnancy, allergies, alopecia and even premature tooth loss.

Various US studies have demonstrated that removing stress improves specific aspects of health: stress management was shown to be capable of reducing the risk of heart attack by up to 75% in people with heart disease; stress management techniques, along with methods for coping with anger, contributed to a reduction of high blood pressure, and; for chronic tension headache sufferers it was found that stress management techniques increased the effectiveness of prescribed drugs, and after six months actually equalled the effectiveness of anti-depressants. The clear implication for these ailments is that stress makes them worse.

Stress significantly reduces brain functions such as memory, concentration, and learning, all of which are central to effective performance at work. Certain tests have shown up to 50% loss of performance in cognitive tests performed by stress sufferers. Some health effects caused by stress are reversible and the body and mind reverts to normal when the stress is relieved. Other health effects caused by stress are so serious that they are irreversible, and at worse are terminal.

Stress is said by some to be a good thing, for themselves or others, that it promotes excitement and positive feelings. If these are the effects then it’s not stress as defined here. It’s the excitement and stimulus derived (by one who wants these feelings and can handle them) from working hard in a controlled and manageable way towards an achievable and realistic aim, which for sure can be very exciting, but it ain’t stress. Stress is bad for people and organisations, it’s a threat and a health risk, and it needs to be recognised and dealt with, not dismissed as something good, or welcomed as a badge of machismo – you might as well stick pins in your eyes.

Causes of stress at work

These are typical causes of stress at work:

bullying or harassment, by anyone, not necessarily a person’s manager
feeling powerless and uninvolved in determining one’s own responsibilities
continuous unreasonable performance demands
lack of effective communication and conflict resolution
lack of job security
long working hours
excessive time away from home and family
office politics and conflict among staff
a feeling that one’s reward reward is not commensurate with one’s responsibility
working hours, responsibilities and pressures disrupting life-balance (diet, exercise, sleep and rest, play, family-time, etc)
factors influencing the effects of stress and stress susceptibility

A person’s susceptibility to stress can be affected by any or all of these factors, which means that everyone has a different tolerance to stressors. And in respect of certain of these factors, stress susceptibility is not fixed, so each person’s stress tolerance level changes over time:

childhood experience (abuse can increase stress susceptibility)
personality (certain personalities are more stress-prone than others)
genetics (particularly inherited ‘relaxation response’, connected with serotonin levels, the brain’s ‘well-being chemical’)
immunity abnormality (as might cause certain diseases such as arthritis and eczema, which weaken stress resilience)
lifestyle (principally poor diet and lack of exercise)
duration and intensity of stressors (obviously…)

signs of stress – stress test

At a clinical level, stress in individuals can be be assessed scientifically by measuring the levels of two hormones produced by the adrenal glands: cortisol and DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone), but managers do not have ready access to these methods. Managers must therefore rely on other signs. Some of these are not exclusively due to stress, nor are they certain proof of stress, but they are indicators to prompt investigation as to whether stress is present. You can use this list of ten key stress indicators as a simple initial stress test: tick the factors applicable. How did I do?

sleep difficulties
loss of appetite
poor concentration or poor memory retention
performance dip
uncharacteristic errors or missed deadlines
anger or tantrums
violent or anti-social behaviour
emotional outbursts
alcohol or drug abuse
nervous habits
methods of personal stress management and stress relief

If you are suffering from work-related stress and it’s beginning to affect, or already affecting your health, stop to think: why are you taking this risk with your body and mind? Life’s short enough as it is; illness is all around us; why make matters worse? Commit to change before one day change is forced upon you.

If you recognise signs of stress in a staff member, especially if you are that person’s manager, don’t ignore it – do something about it. It is your duty to do so. If you do not feel capable of dealing with the situation, do not ignore it; you must refer it to someone who can deal with it. You must also look for signs of non-work-related stressors or factors that increase susceptibility to stress, because these will make a person more vulnerable to work-related stressors. These rules apply to yourself as well….

Stress relief methods are many and various. There is no single remedy that applies to every person suffering from stress, and most solutions involve a combination of remedies. Successful stress management frequently relies on reducing stress susceptibility and removing the stressors, and often factors will be both contributing to susceptibility and a direct cause. Here are some simple pointers for reducing stress susceptibility and stress itself, for yourself or to help others:

stress relief pointers

think really seriously about and talk with others, to identify the causes of the stress and take steps to remove, reduce them or remove yourself (the stressed person) from the situation that causes the stress.
Understand the type(s) of stressors affecting you (or the stressed person), and the contributors to the stress susceptibility – knowing what you’re dealing with is essential to developing the stress management approach.
improve diet – group B vitamins and magnesium are important, but potentially so are all the other vitamins and minerals: a balanced healthy diet is essential. Assess the current diet and identify where improvements should be made and commit to those improvements.
reduce toxin intake – obviously tobacco, alcohol especially – they might seem to provide temporary relief but they are working against the balance of the body and contributing to stress susceptibility, and therefore increasing stress itself.
take more exercise – generally, and at times when feeling very stressed – exercise burns up adrenaline and produces helpful chemicals and positive feelings.
stressed people must try to be detached, step back, look from the outside at the issues that cause the stress.
don’t try to control things that are uncontrollable – instead adjust response, adapt.
share worries – talk to someone else – off-load, loneliness is a big ally of stress, so sharing the burden is essential.
increase self-awareness of personal moods and feelings – anticipate and take steps to avoid stress build-up before it becomes more serious.
explore and use relaxation methods – they do work if given a chance – yoga, meditation, self-hypnosis, massage, a breath of fresh air, anything that works and can be done in the particular situation.
seek out modern computer aids – including free downloads and desktop add-ons – for averting stresses specifically caused by sitting for long uninterrupted periods at a computer screen work-station, for example related to breathing, posture, seating, eye-strain, and RSI (repetitive strain injury).
Note also that managing stress does not cure medical problems. Relieving stress can alleviate and speed recovery from certain illnesses, particularly those caused by stress, (which depending on circumstances can disappear when the stress is relieved); i.e., relieving stress is not a substitute for conventional treatments of illness, disease and injury.

Importantly, if the stress is causing serious health effects the sufferer must consult a doctor. Do not imagine that things will improve by soldiering on, or hoping that the sufferer will somehow become more resilient; things can and probably will get worse.

For less serious forms of stress, simply identify the cause(s) of stress, then to commit/agree to removing the cause(s). If appropriate this may involve removing the person from the situation that is causing the stress. Counselling may be necessary to identify the cause(s), particularly if the sufferer has any tendency to deny or ignore the stress problem.

Acceptance, cognisance and commitment on the part of the stressed person are essential. No-one can begin to manage their stress if they are still feeling acutely stressed – they’ll still be in ‘fight or flight’ mode. This is why a manager accused of causing stress though bullying or harassment must never be expected to resolve the problem. The situation must be handled by someone who will not perpetuate the stressful influence.

Removing the stressor(s) or the person from the stressful situation is only part of the solution; look also at the factors which affect stress susceptibility: where possible try to improve the factors that could be contributing to stress vulnerability. This particularly and frequently involves diet and exercise.

The two simplest ways to reduce stress susceptibility, and in many situations alleviate stress itself (although not removing the direct causes of stress itself) are available to everyone, cost nothing, and are guaranteed to produce virtually immediate improvements. They are diet and exercise.

 

The next 3 Saints Business Club Evening, in association with the Best of…. Pontypridd, Bridgend & Cardiff

Will be held on Feb 15th at 6:00 PM – 8:30 PM

Venue is @ the Three Saints Hotel & Conference Centre, based opposite the Royal Mint in Llantrisant.

The are no membership fee’s.

There is a small charge to cover the cost of food and venue etc.

Which is £10, if you book online or £15 if you pay at the door.

This event requires registration:direct via PayPal (Click Button)

An event not to be missed.

Specialist speaker – Susi Cernoch from Standby, (Virtual Assistant), will be giving a talk about “Outsourced Admin (& Social Media).”

Plus a mini presentation from Coaching Four Success about “Supporting Local Business.”

Enjoy great food and Network to your hearts content+ more!

Join the event that is rapidly growing in popularity, this will be the fifth event and promises to deliver the same high quality as previous events. “So what are you waiting for, don’t delay book today.”

This will be the second meeting since I have agreed to takeover the ownership and running of the 3 Saints Business Club from December 2011. My goal is to make this the best Local Networking Event in South Wales, I will be adding additional features and looking to add further services for our members to have access to, that will be of benefit.

Remember this is business club with a difference, it is run by Coaching Four Success, a local business “That Turns Your Wishes Into Reality.”

I also want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped and given support to make this club a success as well especially the owner (Onkar) and staff at the Three Saints Hotel.

I look forward to seeing you all on the night.

Best wishes

Martin

http://www.martin@biginelli.co.uk

Telephone: 01446 401481
Mobile 07779859712

 

My Previous Experience

My experience prior to my career in life coaching has seen me have roles at all levels and in many different business sectors and this enables me to relate to many different people, their backgrounds and their personalities. I have worked as a front line staff member, as well as in both sales and supervisory capacities.

I also have a wealth of experience in management and teaching roles and as an examiner, demonstrating my strength in having an eye for detail. Latterly I have had roles as a local sales coach, area sales/performance coach and national sales coach as well as a business partner.

The knowledge and experience gained during my career to date. When I left school I started a messenger for the Royal Mail at the age of 15, based in Central London. At the age of eighteen, I progressed up and into the role of Postman also for the Royal Mail. I enjoyed meeting people and getting to know my local community at the same time.

I decided to get a trade and left to undertake a position of trainee butcher, for Wallis Supermarkets, once I became qualified I move on into Mac Markets as a butcher and became after a short period of time a manager for the butchery department. This role helps me to develop my skills with how to display and attract customers to buy existing and new cuts of meat. I had to learn stock control and to order the correct amount of stock, especially because they are perishable goods, so it was very important to get it right to avoid making potentially large losses.

Unfortunately I develop a blood disorder, which meant I have had to give up long term work within the butchery trade.  I decided to use my natural abilities of being a very keen sports person and became a life guard at my local swimming pool and after a short period of time I was offered the opportunity to become a swimming teacher, coach and examiner for all age groups and also support and taught various types of disabled people. I really enjoyed this role this was the beginning of knowing that I wanted to work within the training, development and coaching market.

At this stage of my career, I got married and moved from London to Gainsborough in Lincolnshire. Which meant a change in direction due to limited sports centres etc within the area, so undertook a job laboring at the British Steel Works, again I was interested to learn another skill, so started training as an over head crane driver, which was a very challenging and skillful job. Because you were responsible for moving tons of sinter from stock yard onto trainings who delivered the sinter to the furriness.

After three years, I decided to move from Gainsborough to Cardiff, which is where my parents came from originally. I rejoined the Royal Mail as Postman Higher grade, and learnt how to touch type and spent a number of years typing postcodes onto letters. I spent ten years with the post office.

I then became restless and wanted to find work that would satisfy my thirst for work that was challenging and stimulating at the same time.

I entered a very mixed and crazy period of my career, working within financial services as a sales person either face to face then via the telephone as an inbound advisor then outbound advisor and finally as a field sales agent, for Legal & General, Colonial Mutual, Standard Life, Lloyds TSB, had a period of as a salesman and then store manager for Tandy’s (Intertan UK). Before putting all these skills together and was successful in becoming a sales advisor in all three areas i.e. inbound, outbound & field sales. After a few years I was asked if I would like to apply for a position of sales trainer and coach. I applied and was successful, British Gas provided and also paid for external training around train the trainer, coaching and feedback.

I was then successful in becoming a local sales coach for Cardiff providing training and coaching to all call centre managers and team managers. I had to design training material and programs around how to build upon your customer / client base, also developed a sales process that was effective yet reasonably simple to use. This was followed by in the work place observations and feedback on overall performance.

The results lead to British Gas deciding on taking this from local based project to a national scheme and I was promoted to become one of the national team, which lead to rolling out the Cardiff project to all call centre’s throughout the UK. I found a position that I absolutely loved and I was also able to travel and work with so many different types of people and this enable me to develop my interpersonal skills to a higher level. I spent the next couple of years traveling around the UK, until I was approached by Barclay Bank to become an area performance coach and trainer, covering SE Wales, Herefordshire, Gloucestershire and Worcestershire.

The role with Barclays Bank, was really challenging role and I worked with all levels of staff from cashiers, personal bankers, assistant branch managers, branch managers and area directors on how to change behaviors / attitudes, increase sales, improve overall performance via training, coaching and feedback.

And then after nearly four years, due to the financial climate of 2008 and the impact that had on the business world. Meant that training and coaching is deemed to be a luxury, so when cut backs are to be made, businesses decide to reduce in areas which they think are not going to effect day to day business.

I lost my position as area performance coach, but was offered an alternative position as an assistant branch manager, which I agreed to take rather then be unemployed. I continued in this role for approximately nine months. I did not enjoy this role and found that there were to many limitations, which went against my beliefs. So I decided to leave and start my own training and coaching business, which I started in March 2010 and has taken time to get up and running and I am happy I made this decision as it is a job I love, but find it frustrating times having to stop training or coaching to do marketing and networking to find new business etc. but hay that is what business is about, it is made up of marketing, sales and customer service / focus.

The reason being a coach and trainer is so rewarding, is because I am able to support and help people and businesses to handle day to day life and overcome obstacles / barriers that may get in there way alone life’s path.

You need to work out your journey’s end before beginning your journey in life, this will help you to avoid certain pitfalls along the way, also by knowing what to focus on, you know what it is you aiming to achieve, this helps when it comes to the end results and whether you are going to be successful?

Success comes in many forms and is not just about money and how much of it you currently have, don’t get me wrong money is important but money should not be your only motivator, otherwise you will have  gaps in other areas of your life that money can’t fill.

My work and life experience journey has taken 40 years so and has hopefully many more years to go, which I hope to continue developing my skills even further. I am currently giving talks, seminars and presentations to people based on my own work and life experiences, which is something I love doing, because by sharing knowledge aids increased awareness.

I will continue to write articles and I am also planning to write a book and a series of CD’s & DVD’s about Coaching,Training and Mentoring people and the benefits of doing so!

The next stage of my work and life experience, will be to help schools, collages and universities with preparing them for the big wide world of business and how to enhance there chances by being focused and fully prepared to enable them to hit the ground running!

Just over eighteen months ago I bought a convert camper van, to enable me to travel and explore our beautiful countryside and coastal areas and to take my trusted camera to capture images to enhance my memories.  The feeling of knowing I have another set of wheels available, which will allow me to travel and sleep in, is wonderful. I also love cooking, so I aim to be like the hairy bikers on TV and travel in my camper van and buying local ingredients on my travels and cooking them whilst I am out and about.

 

The GROW coaching model is recognised as one of most popular coaching models to use when setting yourself goals.

It consists of six parts in the process, which are:-

1) State your goal in the positive.

2) Have and evidence procedure.

3) Can you start and maintain the goal yourself.

4) Contextualise.

5) Maintain the positive by products.

6) Ecology.

Lets take each stage in turn, so do we mean by stating with state the goal in the positive?

The goal you want to achieve must be something you actually want and not something you want to avoid. By positive thoughts and actions enables the mind to focus on what you want in life. The mind is unable to focus on negative goals.

i.e. I don’t want to put any weight on? or I want to loose ten pounds over the next four weeks via exercise and reducing fatty foods.

Have an evidence procedure – This is trying imagine what it would be like, when you have achieve your goal, .i.e. what will it look like, feel like or what will you hear going on around you once you have achieved your goal.

Metaphor

When Linford Christie (the athlete) won his gold medal, when he was then interviewed. He stated that he had no doubts that he was going to win a gold medal, because he had run that race a thousand times in his mind and had experienced in his mind what it would be like to win. The only way he was not going to win was if he had an accident on the day!  He said he had heard the national anthem being played, he heard the crowds cheering, he saw the flags waving, he said the jubilant crowd jumping up and down in the stadium.

This stage is very powerful and aids the experience and motivation in working towards your goal.

Can you start and maintain the goal yourself ? This stage is important to work out what support you may need and whether you can do on your own merit.

Contextualise - This stage is only required when you are talking about behaviours etc .i.e. I want to be more assertive ? Be sure where and when in your life you want to be more assertive. If you are in charge of a sales team at work and feel you need to be more assertive with the team, make sure it is only work that want to be assertive and not to include be assertive when you get home and are with the family. As your partner and children will not appreciate the change.

Maintain the positive by products – This stage is about knowing your existing strengths and making sure you don’t diminish them whilst working towards your goal. Otherwise you gain one thing and lose another.

And finally the Ecology ? This stage is about whether the goal is worthwhile, what’s involved, how much time is needed, what effort do you have to commit to to achieve the goal. What are the benefits of achieving this goal.

This model gives you a process to follow when setting goals, it is even better if you get a life or business coach to help you. Because they have the skills to make sure you maximise your goal setting techniques.

 

Club Event

3 Saints Business Club Evening

December 14, 2011 at 6:00 PM – 8:30 PM

Venue is @ Three Saints Hotel & Conference Centre

This event requires registration:direct via my email http://www.coachingfoursuccess.com

The next 3 Saints Business Club Evening will be at 6pm on 14th Dec 2011. 

An event not to be missed.

Specialist speaker - Rob Lawrence (From Boulders)

Enjoy great food + more!

The event will have a new features to help support businesses gain additional exposure. Don’t miss out.

Join the event that is rapidly growing in popularity, this will be the fourth event and promises to deliver the same high quality as previous events. But in addition will be giving you a lot more as well, we have specialist speaker Rob Lawrence from Boulders in Cardiff, who will be giving a truly great talk about his previous background in the Army and how this lead to him setting up in his current business Boulders. Trust me this is not to be missed.

There will also be an extra feature on the night, which will provide the opportunity for businesses to gain additional information about how to get additional exposure, that will allow the media to know who you are and what your business has to offer.

So what are you waiting for, don’t delay book today. 

I will be setting up a payment system shortly, in the mean time email me direct to confirm your place at the event at martin@biginelli.co.uk. 

I am pleased to announce that I have agreed to takeover the ownership and running of the 3 Saints Business Club from December 2011. My goal is to make this the best Local Networking Event in South Wales, I will be adding additional features and looking to add further services for our members to have access to, that will be of benefit.

The are no membership fee's, there is a small charge to cover food and venue costs etc. which will be £10. 

Remember this is business club with a difference it is run by Coaching Four Success for local businesses.

I also want to take this opportunity for all the support I have received from existing members and the owner and staff at the Three Saints Hotel.

I look forward to seeing you all on the night.

Best wishes

Martin 

==============================================
From previous networking meetings.
Club Event

3 Saints Business Club Evening

December 14, 2011 at 6:00 PM – 8:30 PM

Venue is @ Three Saints Hotel & Conference Centre

This event requires registration:direct via my email http://www.coachingfoursuccess.com

Cost £10

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Feel stressed, tired and miserable? Then take time out, you need to relax. Your body is telling you it needs loving tender care, so take heed and listen to what your body is telling you!
If we continue to ignore what our bodies are telling us, then we are asking for trouble at some stage or time in the future?
Here is a relaxation exercise taken from businessballs.com
Sit or lie down comfortably. Properly comfortably. Straighten your back, put your shoulders back to open your rib-cage.
Relax your shoulder muscles particularly. Relax your whole body, and empty your mind.
Close your eyes (obviously open them when you need to read the next stage).
Take ten deep, slow breaths. Breathe from the pit of your stomach and feel your lungs filling.
Focus on your breathing. Feel it getting deeper and slower. Feel yourself relaxing and any tension drifting away.
Relax your shoulders and neck again.
Visualise yourself being happy, succeeding, winning, being loved, laughing, feeling good.
Relax your forehead, your mouth and your eyes.
Allow a gentle smile to appear on your face as you feel a calmness enter your mind.
Then say (out load ideally) the words below (a script for personal change) to yourself:
Here are some beginning statements to build on to help get you started,
I deserve to be,……………
I want to be,………………
I can be,…………………..
I will be,………………….
I am……………………….
Once you have recharged the batteries so to speak, you will be up and running like new, feeling refreshed and able to cope with life, family and work.
Other ways to reduce stress and relax the body can be undertaken in various ways:-
1. Humour – Is probably the best way to relieve stress, they say that laughter is the best cure and it is also infectious.
2. Brisk Walk – Walking allows you to take time on your own in the fresh air and the exercise help to get rid of stress.
3. Rehydrate – Sometimes the lack of fluid intake will cause stress, so to rehydrate replenishes the soul.
4. Catnap or Powernap – A short rest bite and taking a Catnap or Powernap, which ever you want to call it, recharges the batteries on a temporary basis.
5. Make a Cuppa – Well the good old British Cuppa, tends to solve most things in life! its a combination of the Tea, a short rest and rehydration.
6. Crying – Crying is a way of relieving stress via another emotional state, personally I would rather laugh than cry.
7. Sex !!!!! – Well it speaks for itself, it could be humorous, it beats a brisk walk and afterwards you can have your Catnap / Powernap followed by a nice Cuppa to Rehydrate you. And if that does’nt work then have a good Cry!
But which ever method you take or use, you will feel less stressed.
Alternatively avoid stress by listening to your body and remember you are fundimentally made of three parts your body (the machine) your mind
(is your Sat Nav) and your soul (is the energy and personality that make – You the person) and they all need to be in-sink to be effective. If the machine breaks down or the mind loses its way or is confused, it can’t function normally and your soul is left to carry on and deliver the goods all on its own!
So a healthy body, mind and soul is what to aim for?

Well we all have a brain and I find our brains to be a marvellous piece of equipment. That we take for granted, it works when we don’t, and it thinks when we don’t!
Our brain receives over 10, billion pieces of information per day from external events and to avoid any overload, our brain has to either distort, delete or generalise the information it receives, to be able to deal with this amount of information.
This information comes from all of our five senses, visual, sound, touch, smell and taste.
Our brain filters this information through our internal filters; distortion, deletion or generalisation takes place to the original information.
This process is known as our internal representation system and incorporates time, language, memories, decisions, values, beliefs and attitudes.
Once your brain has gone through this process, it affects your state and physiology and in turn this is portrayed in a persons own behaviour.
How to start using this knowledge and put it to good use when you are coaching?
To understand how the brain and your own internal filters work and what are your own primary filters. They are referred to as the VAK System.
Visual
Auditory
Kinaesthetic
Individuals will normally have a bias towards one of the VAK’s
When communicating with people, the language a person may incorporate will include either Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic words for example: -
Visual
Clarity, Foresight, View, Appear, Illustrate, Spectacle, Examine, Watch, Picture, Reveal.
Auditory
Accent, Alarm, Announce, Audible, Earshot, Listen, Shout, Remarkable, Say, Tell, Mention, Sounds Like, Strike a chord.
Kinaesthetic
Active, Callous, Concrete, Solid, Flow, Pressure, Tickle, Touch, Motion, Sensitive, Impact, Comfortable.
What words are being used?
Listen to a conversation, then try to work, out what is a persons normal bias. i.e. are they?
Orientated towards being Visual?
Orientated towards being Auditory?
Orientated towards being Kinaesthetic?
This can change depending upon environment i.e. work or home or certain situations. But normally we all tend to have a bias towards one type of VAK.
And there is no right or wrong VAK to use; it is what makes you the person that you are!
Other characteristics for each VAK
Visual – Talk quite fast, like visual things, love images, design, maths, chemistry and will like an attractively designed environment i.e. a picture paints a thousand words!
Auditory – Will like drama, writing, literature, music, able to tune into new ideas, they often like speaking to audiences and will not like any disturbances when trying to listen to someone any back ground noise they will pick up and it will distract that thoughts.
Kinaesthetic – Quite laid back, there may be silences or pauses when in conversation, that is because they are processing a response and they like to check options internally first, before replying. They like climbing, walking, athletics, They are also good at dealing with new trends, they hold onto reality.
From a coaching prospective, you can start to see that by having this knowledge enables you to communicate on there level.
i.e. If I used Kinaesthetic language to Visually orientated person then the likely hood is that we may not build grate rapport. Because I am talking and stating how I feel and using words about firm foundation, need to get to grips and hold on to what you have got.
And the Visual person with be using words like, I see, looks ok to me? I will be able to keep an eye on things. Etc. etc.
That mismatch of language can confuse and cause all sort of problems. As a coach if I use Visual words within my language to Visual person. How powerful is that, we both see and picture the same things, which builds rapport and enhances trust, respect etc.
This also is the same for Visual to Auditory, Kinaesthetic to Auditory, the coach has to be in tune with the coachee and use the language.

What is your experience of feedback at work, when you hear the boss say come into my office, I have some feedback for you.
I know through my career, my experience has been, what have I done wrong and my head and heart would go into defensive mode.
Why do so many people get it wrong, when they have a golden opportunity to have a 121 with a member of staff, they turn it into a mini war based around performance and figures. Don’t get me wrong performance is important, in fact it is vital, if your job is based in sales. But telling people what to do or trying to extract information out of an individual that is in a none responsive mode, is not good. Because the whole experience in a lot situations is not an enjoyable one.
You have your line manager saying why aren’t performing so well at present, what is wrong? And an individual thinking there are to many meetings, briefings and researching going on and not enough time left to really sell? And the response back is you are no different than everyone else, yet they are performing ok? etc.etc.
We are all different and the way we work is also going to be different, so why do managers think the same format is right for everyone!
I have witnessed, in my career as a coach working for various corporate companies the same behaviours being demonstrated time and again. Rather than invest time via diagnostics, coaching and feedback to identify the issues and provide the right intervention. i.e. if it is a knowledge issue, provide training, if it is skills or attitude issue, then provide coaching and feedback and if it is an aptitude issue then the individual will need to be redirected into another role that they can do.
Feedback is a vital part of anyones development, without it, they are unlikely to make it on there own. Investment in coaching and feedback is the correct intervention and the cheaper option which gives everyone the desired results. Yet when the going gets tuff, why do a lot of companies make coaching and feedback training one of the first areas to save money on.
That’s my soap box for the day!
Use and give feedback as often as possible see the difference for yourself, watch a person grow before your eyes just by motivating and developing them. Get your colleagues to do the same for you and see the benefits for yourself.
Or engage in my life of business coaching services and let them help you achieve motivation and develop your own goals and desires.
There is no such thing as failure, only feedback and renewed opportunity. The purpose of feedback is to motivate and develop an individual.
The process for giving excellent feedback ?
Describe current behaviours
Identify Situations
Describe impacts & consequences
Identify alternative behaviours
A useful model I was shown and use on a regular basis, is a model called B.O.O.S.T.
This is an acronym which stands for:-
B stands for Balanced – The feedback needs to be concentrated towards the key areas that would make the most impact and help to develop an individual. It needs to be balanced towards positive feedback and reduce the amount of developmental feedback. The reason being that if there are more than a couple of developmental feedback issues, the individual can only work on a couple of issues per feedback session. You need to be able to allow the individual to focus on the most import issues first and at a later date once they have improved on current feedback, then you can then work on the other issues they may have.
O stands for Observed – The feedback you deliver, needs to have been observed by you personally and not from a third party. The reason is obvious really, if you give feedback to someone that was not observed by you and the person you give the feedback to, then challenges you by saying no I didn’t or that is not true? where do you go, because you did not see it for yourself and cannot confirm either way.
O stands for Objective – Feedback also needs be based on real facts .i.e. what you saw, what you heard, what you felt and what you witnessed. Plus you need to keep any subjectivity out of your feedback, again you have to keep feedback to actual facts and not let what you know about a person influence your feedback based on there normal habits or behaviours. It must be based on actual facts.
S stands for Specific – Be as specific with the detail as possible and give actual real life examples that an individual can remember and recall, based on those examples.
T stands for Timely – Again this means feedback should be delivered asap after the event, not several hours, or tomorrow or next week. Because it will not add any value at all, because to many other things will have been absorbed via the individuals senses. Which will mean they will have deleted, distorted or generalised most of the information.
This is only one type of feedback model, there are other models which can be used feedback.
The above model does motivate and develop individuals and they also enjoy and want regular feedback.