What are you seeking out of life?
If your young it is how to live the life of fun, enjoyment, fulfilment, excitement, travel, music, dating, cars, fashion, image etc. all of these cost money and need commitment. So you want to earn good money to enable you to use the money to do the things you want out of life! But if you don’t plan, don’t set goals to aid you getting your dreams and desires to become a reality, what then?
If you are now ready to settle down, then you have different needs and requirements, you may be looking for a partner to settle down, you may also be looking to develop your career to enable you to buy or rent your first property together. You may have a five or ten year plan to get married, buy / rent a home, have a family, buy a car etc.etc. This also requires careful planning and effective setting of goals if you are ever going to be able to achieve these without being in debt that is possibly causing you problems etc.
Lets say you are now been married, have a home, have children, all the usual family commitments, mortgage, loans, holidays abroad, children’s education, keeping up with the Jones’s etc.etc. Have you planned effective goals to enable you to enjoy your life? Are you on course to achieve what else you may require in life?
I could go on and on about different age groups and different circumstances we all face in life as we progress in life, the one thing we don’t know in life is what is going to happen to us next. But we can certainly take control and head in the direction we want to go and have as much influence as we are able to.
As the old saying goes you only have one life, so lets make the most of it!
If you link goal setting and start to think you want out of life then you are on your way and all you then need is to focus on those goals until you have achieved them and then set new goals to keep you moving in the direction you want.
I have started by adding some data from NLP that I think you will find interesting and ended with how you can use these methods.
NLP techniques help particularly by making it possible for people to………
Set clear goals and define realistic strategies
Coach new and existing staff to help them gain greater satisfaction from their contribution
Understand and reduce stress and conflict
Improve new customer relationship-building and sales performance
Enhance the skills of customer care staff and reduce customer loss
Improve people’s effectiveness, productivity and thereby profitability
nlp principle 1 – achieving outcomes (this section taken from businessballs.com).
The importance of knowing your outcome cannot be stressed enough. Many people do not have conscious outcomes. Others have no idea what they want but know what they don’t want. Their life is based on moving away from those things they don’t want. NLP stresses the importance of moving towards those things you want. Without outcomes life becomes a process of wandering aimlessly. Once an outcome is determined you can begin to focus on achieving that outcome.
NLP lists certain well-formedness conditions that outcomes should meet. The first of these is that the outcome needs to be stated in positive terms. This means that the outcome must be what you want and not what you don’t want to happen. Outcomes must be capable of being satisfied. It is both logically and practically impossible to give someone the negation of an experience. You can’t engage in the process of ‘not doing’. You can only engage in the process of doing.
The second well-formedness condition for outcomes is that the outcome must be testable and demonstrable in sensory experience. There must be an evidence procedure. Unless this is the case, there is no way to measure progress towards the achievement of the outcome. With an evidence procedure for the outcome it is possible to determine whether or not you are making progress towards achieving the outcome.
Third, the desired state must be sensory specific. You must be able to say what you would look like, sound like and feel like if you achieved the outcome.
Fourth,the outcome or desired state must be initiated and maintained by the subject. This places the locus (ie position) of control and responsibility for achieving the outcome with the subject and not with someone else. It is not a well-formed outcome when someone else does something or changes in some way. All you can do is have an outcome in which you can change yourself or your behaviour so as to bring about a change in someone else.
Fifth, the outcome must be appropriately and explicitly contextualised. This means that outcomes must not be stated as universals. You must never want either ‘all the time’ of ‘never’, but only under specific circumstances. In NLP we always strive to create more choice and never to take choice or reduce the number of possible responses. The goal instead is to make the choices or responses available in the appropriate circumstances.
Sixth, the desired outcome must preserve any positive product of the present state. If this is not the case then symptom substitution may occur.
Seventh and finally, the outcome or desired state must be ecologically sound. You should consider the consequences for yourself and for other people and not pursue outcomes that lead to harm to yourself or other people.
Back to me, see how NLP and my previous articles relate to each other, I have talked about GROW coaching model, if you reflect between the article above and my earlier blogs you will see how they are all link together, it is paying attention to the finer details that the overall objective can be achieved.
You have to know, what you want in life to be able to plan and set goals to enable you to achieve your goals and desires, so they turn from a dream to a reality.
The British mind is so set on being secure and safe and I can’t risk anything? That has endangered our lives and is out dated concept, if you want the a life you of your dreams you have to take some calculated risks if you want to avoid being that old guy sitting in the corner of you local saying if only? Have faith in yourself, when you have ideas and dreams and start convincing yourself I can’t pursue them, because I can’t afford to let others (my family) down. Think past those thoughts and explore the options, you owe to yourself and your family. Hay, what if your idea worked and you achieved success in your chosen pursuit! What then?
So have a little faith in yourself and your family, if you have truly explored all the options available to you and it is a no go idea, fine at least you can be assured you tried. You can then move onto the next idea and plan for that.
For those of you who have been following my blogs and find them interesting, contact me via email or phone to continue our journey together, coaching is so powerful.
Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can achieve today, you do only have one live, so make the most of it while you can and are able too.
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