Posts Tagged ‘Business Coaching’

Life’s Stresses – Relax & Recharge

Feel stressed, tired and miserable? Then take time out, you need to relax. Your body is telling you it needs loving tender care, so take heed and listen to what your body is telling you!
If we continue to ignore what our bodies are telling us, then we are asking for trouble at some stage or time in the future?
Here is a relaxation exercise taken from
Sit or lie down comfortably. Properly comfortably. Straighten your back, put your shoulders back to open your rib-cage.
Relax your shoulder muscles particularly. Relax your whole body, and empty your mind.
Close your eyes (obviously open them when you need to read the next stage).
Take ten deep, slow breaths. Breathe from the pit of your stomach and feel your lungs filling.
Focus on your breathing. Feel it getting deeper and slower. Feel yourself relaxing and any tension drifting away.
Relax your shoulders and neck again.
Visualise yourself being happy, succeeding, winning, being loved, laughing, feeling good.
Relax your forehead, your mouth and your eyes.
Allow a gentle smile to appear on your face as you feel a calmness enter your mind.
Then say (out load ideally) the words below (a script for personal change) to yourself:
Here are some beginning statements to build on to help get you started,
I deserve to be,……………
I want to be,………………
I can be,…………………..
I will be,………………….
I am……………………….
Once you have recharged the batteries so to speak, you will be up and running like new, feeling refreshed and able to cope with life, family and work.
Other ways to reduce stress and relax the body can be undertaken in various ways:-
1. Humour – Is probably the best way to relieve stress, they say that laughter is the best cure and it is also infectious.
2. Brisk Walk – Walking allows you to take time on your own in the fresh air and the exercise help to get rid of stress.
3. Rehydrate – Sometimes the lack of fluid intake will cause stress, so to rehydrate replenishes the soul.
4. Catnap or Powernap – A short rest bite and taking a Catnap or Powernap, which ever you want to call it, recharges the batteries on a temporary basis.
5. Make a Cuppa – Well the good old British Cuppa, tends to solve most things in life! its a combination of the Tea, a short rest and rehydration.
6. Crying – Crying is a way of relieving stress via another emotional state, personally I would rather laugh than cry.
7. Sex !!!!! – Well it speaks for itself, it could be humorous, it beats a brisk walk and afterwards you can have your Catnap / Powernap followed by a nice Cuppa to Rehydrate you. And if that does’nt work then have a good Cry!
But which ever method you take or use, you will feel less stressed.
Alternatively avoid stress by listening to your body and remember you are fundimentally made of three parts your body (the machine) your mind
(is your Sat Nav) and your soul (is the energy and personality that make – You the person) and they all need to be in-sink to be effective. If the machine breaks down or the mind loses its way or is confused, it can’t function normally and your soul is left to carry on and deliver the goods all on its own!
So a healthy body, mind and soul is what to aim for?

The Brain, VAK’s & Life Coaching?

Well we all have a brain and I find our brains to be a marvellous piece of equipment. That we take for granted, it works when we don’t, and it thinks when we don’t!
Our brain receives over 10, billion pieces of information per day from external events and to avoid any overload, our brain has to either distort, delete or generalise the information it receives, to be able to deal with this amount of information.
This information comes from all of our five senses, visual, sound, touch, smell and taste.
Our brain filters this information through our internal filters; distortion, deletion or generalisation takes place to the original information.
This process is known as our internal representation system and incorporates time, language, memories, decisions, values, beliefs and attitudes.
Once your brain has gone through this process, it affects your state and physiology and in turn this is portrayed in a persons own behaviour.
How to start using this knowledge and put it to good use when you are coaching?
To understand how the brain and your own internal filters work and what are your own primary filters. They are referred to as the VAK System.
Individuals will normally have a bias towards one of the VAK’s
When communicating with people, the language a person may incorporate will include either Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic words for example: -
Clarity, Foresight, View, Appear, Illustrate, Spectacle, Examine, Watch, Picture, Reveal.
Accent, Alarm, Announce, Audible, Earshot, Listen, Shout, Remarkable, Say, Tell, Mention, Sounds Like, Strike a chord.
Active, Callous, Concrete, Solid, Flow, Pressure, Tickle, Touch, Motion, Sensitive, Impact, Comfortable.
What words are being used?
Listen to a conversation, then try to work, out what is a persons normal bias. i.e. are they?
Orientated towards being Visual?
Orientated towards being Auditory?
Orientated towards being Kinaesthetic?
This can change depending upon environment i.e. work or home or certain situations. But normally we all tend to have a bias towards one type of VAK.
And there is no right or wrong VAK to use; it is what makes you the person that you are!
Other characteristics for each VAK
Visual – Talk quite fast, like visual things, love images, design, maths, chemistry and will like an attractively designed environment i.e. a picture paints a thousand words!
Auditory – Will like drama, writing, literature, music, able to tune into new ideas, they often like speaking to audiences and will not like any disturbances when trying to listen to someone any back ground noise they will pick up and it will distract that thoughts.
Kinaesthetic – Quite laid back, there may be silences or pauses when in conversation, that is because they are processing a response and they like to check options internally first, before replying. They like climbing, walking, athletics, They are also good at dealing with new trends, they hold onto reality.
From a coaching prospective, you can start to see that by having this knowledge enables you to communicate on there level.
i.e. If I used Kinaesthetic language to Visually orientated person then the likely hood is that we may not build grate rapport. Because I am talking and stating how I feel and using words about firm foundation, need to get to grips and hold on to what you have got.
And the Visual person with be using words like, I see, looks ok to me? I will be able to keep an eye on things. Etc. etc.
That mismatch of language can confuse and cause all sort of problems. As a coach if I use Visual words within my language to Visual person. How powerful is that, we both see and picture the same things, which builds rapport and enhances trust, respect etc.
This also is the same for Visual to Auditory, Kinaesthetic to Auditory, the coach has to be in tune with the coachee and use the language.

Life & Business Goals – Questions

Goal setting.
Open questions.
Overall Aim(goal).
What do you want?
What do you want to work towards?
What is your aim?
What do you want to achieve?
What do you want to gain?
What is your goal for the future?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
When do you want to achieve your goal?
What do you want to be?
Remember: Overall goal needs to be specific. Need to get coachee to focus on what they want to achieve rather than what they want to avoid.
Goal session
What do want to walk away with by the end of this session?
By the end of the session what do want to achieve?
Evidence Procedure
How will you know when you have achieved your goal?
What will … look like?
What will it be like when you have achieved your goal?
What will this give you?
What do you want to hear?
What will others see when you achieve your goal?
How will achieving that feel?
How can you measure your success?
What tools can you use to measure this?
How will you feel when you achieve your goal?
What will people be saying when you achieve your goal?
How will people see you when you achieve your goal?
How will you see yourself?
Imagine you achieve your goal! What’s happening around you?
Paint a picture, what will you see?
What will you be saying when you achieve your goal?
How will you celebrate success?
What do you feel like when you achieve your goal?
What do you think it will be like to achieve your goal?
Can you imagine what it will look like to achieve your goal?
What emotions will you feel when you achieve your goal?
Remember: Evidence procedure lets the coachee know what it will be like when they achieve their goal. You need to get all three predicates in at this stage (i.e. visual, kinesthetic and auditory). To find out your coachee’s preferred predicate ask a neutral question like “ What will it be like when you achieve your goal?”
Maintain positive by products of current situation
What are you doing well at the moment?
Is all about ensuring that the coachee knows what their strengths are. How can they keep their current performance where it is and focus on goal. What is the coachee willing to give up to achieve their goal.
What can they bring with them to help to work towards their goal.
What is currently working?
How can you ensure you maintain these strengths?
What good things would you like to bring with you?
What will you lose by doing ………
What can you bring forward to support your goal?
How will you maintain your current performance whilst you are developing?
What sacrifices are you willing to make to achieve your goal?
What measurements can you put in place to ensure that your strengths stay strong and still focus on your goal?
What are your key strengths?
What are your strengths?
What do you like about your job?
What impacts will achieving your goal have on your current strengths?
How will you ensure this doesn’t happen?
What key skills do you have?
How will you maintain the positives?
What can you put in place to measure that your current performance stays in place whilst gaining your goal?
What will it feel like if working towards your goal you lose…?
Is the big picture. What will be going on around the coachee when they are working towards their goal. What’s in it for them?
What resources will you need?
How much will this cost?
How important is this to you? What reasons is this important to you?
How much time do you need?
How is achieving … in keeping with your sense of self?
How much of an impact will this have on your values and beliefs?
By achieving … what benefits will this be to you personally and the business?
Who will it effect?
How much time are you willing to put in?
What are you getting from achieving this?
What reasons are you committed to this?
Is this goal worth time and effort?
What reasons are you committed to achieving this?
What’s in this for you?
What benefits will you get from achieving …..?
How will achieving this effect your home life/social life?
Remember you only need to do the four steps on the overall aim( big goal). From here on in you work on the goal for the session.You will only need to perform the four stages of goal setting if in your second session that the overall goal changes or if it is your first coaching session with the individual.

Motivate & Develop via Feedback

What is your experience of feedback at work, when you hear the boss say come into my office, I have some feedback for you.
I know through my career, my experience has been, what have I done wrong and my head and heart would go into defensive mode.
Why do so many people get it wrong, when they have a golden opportunity to have a 121 with a member of staff, they turn it into a mini war based around performance and figures. Don’t get me wrong performance is important, in fact it is vital, if your job is based in sales. But telling people what to do or trying to extract information out of an individual that is in a none responsive mode, is not good. Because the whole experience in a lot situations is not an enjoyable one.
You have your line manager saying why aren’t performing so well at present, what is wrong? And an individual thinking there are to many meetings, briefings and researching going on and not enough time left to really sell? And the response back is you are no different than everyone else, yet they are performing ok? etc.etc.
We are all different and the way we work is also going to be different, so why do managers think the same format is right for everyone!
I have witnessed, in my career as a coach working for various corporate companies the same behaviours being demonstrated time and again. Rather than invest time via diagnostics, coaching and feedback to identify the issues and provide the right intervention. i.e. if it is a knowledge issue, provide training, if it is skills or attitude issue, then provide coaching and feedback and if it is an aptitude issue then the individual will need to be redirected into another role that they can do.
Feedback is a vital part of anyones development, without it, they are unlikely to make it on there own. Investment in coaching and feedback is the correct intervention and the cheaper option which gives everyone the desired results. Yet when the going gets tuff, why do a lot of companies make coaching and feedback training one of the first areas to save money on.
That’s my soap box for the day!
Use and give feedback as often as possible see the difference for yourself, watch a person grow before your eyes just by motivating and developing them. Get your colleagues to do the same for you and see the benefits for yourself.
Or engage in my life of business coaching services and let them help you achieve motivation and develop your own goals and desires.
There is no such thing as failure, only feedback and renewed opportunity. The purpose of feedback is to motivate and develop an individual.
The process for giving excellent feedback ?
Describe current behaviours
Identify Situations
Describe impacts & consequences
Identify alternative behaviours
A useful model I was shown and use on a regular basis, is a model called B.O.O.S.T.
This is an acronym which stands for:-
B stands for Balanced – The feedback needs to be concentrated towards the key areas that would make the most impact and help to develop an individual. It needs to be balanced towards positive feedback and reduce the amount of developmental feedback. The reason being that if there are more than a couple of developmental feedback issues, the individual can only work on a couple of issues per feedback session. You need to be able to allow the individual to focus on the most import issues first and at a later date once they have improved on current feedback, then you can then work on the other issues they may have.
O stands for Observed – The feedback you deliver, needs to have been observed by you personally and not from a third party. The reason is obvious really, if you give feedback to someone that was not observed by you and the person you give the feedback to, then challenges you by saying no I didn’t or that is not true? where do you go, because you did not see it for yourself and cannot confirm either way.
O stands for Objective – Feedback also needs be based on real facts .i.e. what you saw, what you heard, what you felt and what you witnessed. Plus you need to keep any subjectivity out of your feedback, again you have to keep feedback to actual facts and not let what you know about a person influence your feedback based on there normal habits or behaviours. It must be based on actual facts.
S stands for Specific – Be as specific with the detail as possible and give actual real life examples that an individual can remember and recall, based on those examples.
T stands for Timely – Again this means feedback should be delivered asap after the event, not several hours, or tomorrow or next week. Because it will not add any value at all, because to many other things will have been absorbed via the individuals senses. Which will mean they will have deleted, distorted or generalised most of the information.
This is only one type of feedback model, there are other models which can be used feedback.
The above model does motivate and develop individuals and they also enjoy and want regular feedback.

Happiness & Success The S.M.A.R.T. Way.

Q. Why should I set myself personal goals?

A. The primary reason for this is that by setting goals you will clearly know where you are going and what you will obtain.

Also more than this it helps you to keep your mind and actions focused on obtaining realistic and personally stretching goals and desires which will benefit you in the long term.

To aid you in doing this there is a simple acronym to help you structure the way to set yourself some excellent goals -


Specific – A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” (and one “H”) questions:

*Who: Who is involved?

*What: What do I want to accomplish?

*Where: Identify a location.

*When: Establish a time frame.

*Which: Identify requirements and constraints.

*Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.

*How: How will I go about this?

EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, “Get in shape.”

A specific goal would say, “Join a health club by this date and workout 3 days a week every week.”

Measurable – Establish a tangible criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.

To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as….

*How much?

*How many?

*How will I know when it is accomplished?

EXAMPLE: What MI can you use to measure yourself?

What feedback can you use to measure yourself?

Achievable – When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals. You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

Realistic – To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work towards and achieve. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. What you need to ensure is that the goal you’re trying to achieve is stretching and at the same time of benefit, both to you and the business. A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labour of love. Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.

Time-scaled – When setting your goal you will need to set down specific deadlines you will need to consider the following:

*When do you want to achieve the goal by?

*If actions to support this goal are set, when do you want this to happen?

*At what time points do you want to review your progress?

*What and when are your key objectives?

Business Coaching In An Economic Downturn

Professional Business Coaching And The Recession

Due to the current climate, many people have had to tighten their belts and reduce overheads, which is understandable. But is it the right thing to do I ask?

You may have been forced to due to circumstances beyond your control, but it you reduced costs to conserve money just because you thought it was the right thing to do.

What were your competitors doing?

Did they reduce costs or did they continue to invest and speculate i.e. in advertising, training and coaching?

One thing for sure is that by doing so it can cut off your flow of potential new business, and not investing in training and coaching is a near suicidal stance to take.

I will explain now what I mean: -

Business Coaching In An Economic Downturn

I started to tell you in my last post about the huge mistake that companies make when they abandon any business coaching, training or staff development during a recession.

So why is it a mistake to do this?

Without continuous flow of new business as well as existing business, your staff are unable to continue to development and reductions in productivity, motivation and profits are greatly reduced.

Training and business coaching are vital keys in the future of any business. Why do large corporate companies have huge turnovers in staff and high training and recruitment costs? Because some treat training and coaching as a nice to have, not a must have!

What happens without effective coaching and feedback on a daily and weekly basis, is that the performance reviews are usually held on a one to one basis, very often it is a tell session, i.e. you have not achieved x y or z!

So what are we going to do?

What happens then is the coachee agrees to actions to keep his boss happy, despite not actually being shown how to achieve it. And at the next review they more often than not have the same conversation again.

And gradually the individual goes on a performance plan, then an action plan a they go down the disciplinary route. What a waste of time effort and money.

When in less time with a proper qualified coach, it could be resolved in less time and with suitable actions that the coachee knows and understands how to do and achieve.

Firstly you need to diagnose what is stopping the performance, then via coaching and feedback you identify the issues and resolve them.



NLP – How to Achieve Life’s Goals!

What are you seeking out of life?

If your young it is how to live the life of fun, enjoyment, fulfilment, excitement, travel, music, dating, cars, fashion, image etc. all of these cost money and need commitment. So you want to earn good money to enable you to use the money to do the things you want out of life! But if you don’t plan, don’t set goals to aid you getting your dreams and desires to become a reality, what then?

If you are now ready to settle down, then you have different needs and requirements, you may be looking for a partner to settle down, you may also be looking to develop your career to enable you to buy or rent your first property together. You may have a five or ten year plan to get married, buy / rent a home, have a family, buy a car etc.etc. This also requires careful planning and effective setting of goals if you are ever going to be able to achieve these without being in debt that is possibly causing you problems etc.

Lets say you are now been married, have a home, have children, all the usual family commitments, mortgage, loans, holidays abroad, children’s education, keeping up with the Jones’s etc.etc. Have you planned effective goals to enable you to enjoy your life? Are you on course to achieve what else you may require in life?

I could go on and on about different age groups and different circumstances we all face in life as we progress in life, the one thing we don’t know in life is what is going to happen to us next. But we can certainly take control and head in the direction we want to go and have as much influence as we are able to.

As the old saying goes you only have one life, so lets make the most of it!

If you link goal setting and start to think you want out of life then you are on your way and all you then need is to focus on those goals until you have achieved them and then set new goals to keep you moving in the direction you want.
I have started by adding some data from NLP that I think you will find interesting and ended with how you can use these methods.

NLP techniques help particularly by making it possible for people to………

Set clear goals and define realistic strategies
Coach new and existing staff to help them gain greater satisfaction from their contribution
Understand and reduce stress and conflict
Improve new customer relationship-building and sales performance
Enhance the skills of customer care staff and reduce customer loss
Improve people’s effectiveness, productivity and thereby profitability

Read the rest of this entry »

Life Coaches Do Have A Sense Of Humour

I thought that for today’s post I would lighten the mood a bit with some humour. Us life coaches do have a sense of humour you know, and contrary to belief we’re also human too!
For those of you that know me, you will realise that although the stuff below is funny, there is a serious message within it too.
Is The Glass Half Full Or Half Empty?
The optimist says the glass is half full.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty.
The project manager/engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.
And the cynic… wonders who drank the other half.
The school teacher says it’s not about whether the glass is half empty or half full, it’s whether there is something in the glass at all.
Anyway… Attitude is not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it’s about who is paying for the next round.
The professional trainer does not care if the glass is half full or half empty, he just knows that starting the discussion will give him ten minutes to figure out why his powerpoint presentation is not working!
The ground-down mother of a persistently demanding five-year-old says sweetheart it’s whatever you want it to be, just please let mummy have five minutes peace and quiet.
The consultant says let’s examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of…
The inquisitive troublemaker wants to know what’s in the glass anyhow… and wants the rest of it.
The homebuilder sees the dirty glass, washes and dries it, then puts it away in a custom oak and etched glass cabinet that he built himself using only hand tools.
The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.
The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn’t.
The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.
The computer specialist says that next year the glass capacity will double, be half the price, but cost you 50% more for me to give you the answer.
So, which category do you fall in to?

What is the purpose of Feedback?

Ever experienced feedback?

What was it like and how did you feel afterwards?

My experiences of feedback over the years is based on, I only seemed to get feedback when I had done something wrong!

Yet when I exceeded expectations, nothing was forthcoming, apart from the odd well done, but that is what we pay you for away.?

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback and renewed opportunities?

Feedback is about helping you to know and be aware of what you are doing well and identify any areas you may need to work on. And this should be from direct observation and feedback asap, whilst it is still fresh in the persons mind. There is no point in giving feedback more than 24 hours old, as the person in question would have generalised, distorted or deleted most of the information.

So the key is to give feedback asap after the event took place, this way you will gain maximum benefits for everyone involved.

Also the feedback must be given by the person who actually witnessed the event and not by a third party, the reason is obvious because if a person does challenge any aspect of the feedback, a third party can’t oppose or confirm, because they never actually witnessed the original event.

When you give feedback to anyone, it must based on pure facts, actually what you witnessed, that went on at the time.

It must be objective and not subjective, and the difference between the two is fact versus personal views (avoid what you already know about the person) base the feedback purely on what you have seen and witnessed yourself.

You need to make your feedback as specific as possible to enable the individual to know what they actually need to work on. Also what worked well and what didn’t work so well?

Specifics – mean to give an example of what someone said or did, i.e. it may be a question someone used, tell them what the question was that they used, to allow them to formulate this into future similar situations.

The key to feedback is to not over whelm a person with to many development areas, a because you will demotivate them and secondly we can only work on two / three development areas at any one time.

You need to reload the good points to make sure the person is aware and can continue doing them and turn them into normal habits.

Finally you need to identify the areas that require any improvement or development from this feedback session. The key is to enable a person to achieve success in bite size pieces. If there are more the two / three development areas to consider, choose the most important to deal with first, because the other areas will still be there and once the key areas have been dealt with you can then work on the other areas at a later date.

Feedback is all about development and if delivered in the correct manor, will enhance the performance and development of a person and increase their motivation at the same time.

We should all seek feedback on a regular basis, otherwise we will pick up bad habits without even knowing we have! If you don’t have feedback you will not know and this can hinder your own development.

The simple way to remember this process is via an acronym known as B.O.O.S.T.

1. Balanced  -  (ratio in favour of positive & limit development areas to 2/3),

2. Observed  - You have actually witnessed,

3. Objective  - Facts that you have actually witnessed,

4. Specific  - Provide details and examples,

5. Timely – Give feedback asap after the event took place.

Feedback should be an enjoyable experience that people want and actually seek. Because it helps to develop and motivate them as well.


NLP Eye Patterns Four Business Executives

Another video which demonstrates  how powerful NLP is and how I use it to benefit my clients,

Let me know your thoughts and feelings.

Seven Steps To Sales Success
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