Posts Tagged ‘Work Place Mentoring’

Stress in Business or Employment?

Who are you and what do you want?

Interesting title, I have decided to write about who are you and what do you want. Because so many of us wander around on this planet not know who we are or knowing what to do!

So first of all, who are you?  What do you currently do for a living and are you happy with the job you currently have?

I know I am asking lots of questions of you all, but it is for a reason and the reason is to identify what is right for you! Because by doing a job that you are either not suited to or are not happy with, can lead to you feeling down, under pressure. Which if you do not deal with can lead to stress and for your confidence and self esteem taking a basing at the same time.

Why did you choose your current role / job? Ask yourself if you know what you know now about the job, if you were applying for the role for the first time, tomorrow, would you! If you could say yes, then you probably have chosen the right career path for you.

But if you can say no I would definitely not, then we need to look at why? And what are the learns about your experience that you can incorporate into any future opportunities you look for.

So how do you set about identifying what is right for you, to be honest you should get yourself  a Life / Business Coach to help and guide you to a natural conclusion! The reason I say this is because everyone including myself will not ask ourselves the right questions, because we can avoid any difficult ones that put us on the spot. Secondly we are not always honest with ourselves and think we know best, but without help it is not always possible to come to the right conclusions.

If you do decide to go it alone, remember what has not worked for you in the past, take the learns you have gained and put them to good use in any future decisions you decide to make. Then challenge yourself about what is important to you.

What things do you enjoy doing?

What makes you happy the most?

What skills do you currently have?

What qualifications do you currently have?

What qualifications do you need to achieve what you want?

There are loads more questions that you need to consider to enable you to come to the right decision.

Then  you have to record the options you have available to you and then go through the pro’s & con’s of each option.

Once you have decided on the correct option for you then you need to know how to go about achieving this option!

Then there is the how?

Yes how do I go about achieving what you want?

What is required?

What support do you need?

What qualifications if any do you need?

Who do you need to contact to enable you to achieve your goals?

Set yourself time scales, when do you want to achieve you goal by?

Can you do it on your own, do y0u have enough resources yourself?

If not who else can help or support you in achieving your goal?

Provided you have a process to follow and to enable you to move towards your true goal and you focus on that goal you will get your desired outcome!

Timothy Galway – says that everybody has the ability to achieve what they want in life, and he uses a formula which is:-

The Formula is – Performance = Potential – (minus) Interference.  Which is simple, yet so powerful you, because it is simply staying you get what you focus on and avoid any distractions / interference!

If you want to contact me or need advice, please contact me and lets get you on the right path to your chosen career.



NLP – Giving Effective Communication

Just wanted to thank Demitris Edwards from Vocall Mystery Shopping in association with Call Centre League of Excellence, who put on a truly enjoyable event at Gloucester Quays aboard the King Arthur, with an audience of 50+ Call Centre Managers and Staff who wanted to find out how to improve performance within their own call centres.

The day included a meet and greet over coffee, tea, light refreshments, followed by five presentations from a wide variety of companies, from the training, coaching, feedback, sales and social media circles.

Really enjoyed the good weather lunch time along the Gloucester canal over lunch, which on return finished with two further presentation including mine.

My presentation was based on the subject of how to use NLP to enhance communication and make more sales.

Thanks again for the opportunity to be able to discuss with 50+ over businesses what I do and what I can do for them in the future!



3 Saints Business Club

The next 3 Saints Business Club Evening, in association with the Best of…. Pontypridd, Bridgend & Cardiff

Will be held on Feb 15th at 6:00 PM – 8:30 PM

Venue is @ the Three Saints Hotel & Conference Centre, based opposite the Royal Mint in Llantrisant.

The are no membership fee’s.

There is a small charge to cover the cost of food and venue etc.

Which is £10, if you book online or £15 if you pay at the door.

This event requires registration:direct via PayPal (Click Button)

An event not to be missed.

Specialist speaker – Susi Cernoch from Standby, (Virtual Assistant), will be giving a talk about “Outsourced Admin (& Social Media).”

Plus a mini presentation from Coaching Four Success about “Supporting Local Business.”

Enjoy great food and Network to your hearts content+ more!

Join the event that is rapidly growing in popularity, this will be the fifth event and promises to deliver the same high quality as previous events. “So what are you waiting for, don’t delay book today.”

This will be the second meeting since I have agreed to takeover the ownership and running of the 3 Saints Business Club from December 2011. My goal is to make this the best Local Networking Event in South Wales, I will be adding additional features and looking to add further services for our members to have access to, that will be of benefit.

Remember this is business club with a difference, it is run by Coaching Four Success, a local business “That Turns Your Wishes Into Reality.”

I also want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped and given support to make this club a success as well especially the owner (Onkar) and staff at the Three Saints Hotel.

I look forward to seeing you all on the night.

Best wishes


Telephone: 01446 401481
Mobile 07779859712


The balloon story (business, IT, humour, funny business story)

A man in a hot air balloon is lost. He sees a man on the ground and reduces height to speak to him.

“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

“You’re in a hot air balloon hovering thirty feet above this field,” comes the reply.

“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.

“I do,” says the man, “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “Everything you told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”

“You must be in business,” says the man.

“I am,” says the balloonist, “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

(You can of course substitute other professions as appropriate.)


2 Be Or Not 2 Be Coached?

That is the question?

When do you need a business or life coach?

The answer is when you feel you want to develop yourself or your business further than you currently are at present. Its not rocket science, you need coaching when you are not able to achieve or progress in the direction you want to go and seem to struggle or find you have obstacles that stand in your way!

The coach is not a person who has all the answers, yet they may think they know what you require. Though a good coach will get you to come to your own conclusions via a series of questions carefully designed to make you think about what it is you really want in your business or in your own life.

Coaching can be viewed a bit like map reading and route finding combined together, first of all you need to know where you are aiming for and why you are heading in that direction at this point in your business or life. Once you have established your destination you can retrace your route back to the present time via a series of mini goals or objectives. Now you will have a clear direction of your future route and what stages you will met and have to achieve along the way.

It is so important to know what it is you really want and to know why you want it so much, because without a clear focus and understanding you are very unlikely to achieve anything at all. Or you will get to your destination and find it is not what you thought it would be, which will only lead you to frustration and disappointment.

Although I am a business and life coach, I believe everyone needs a coach including me, the reason why, is that we do not ask ourselves the right questions which are challenging enough to provoke the correct responses needed to know what and why something is important enough to set realistic goals and objectives.

Until you experience being coached it is difficult to know what the true benefits are, most people because of the lack of experience in this field, feel it is an expense they can do without. Well a good coach will provide you with many benefits which far exceed any material costs.

How do you put a price on the amount quality and happiness you have in your business or life?

This is my soap box bit now!

When you want to look good, what do you do? You pamper yourself by investing time and money, on having your hair done, new outfit, etc. etc.

When you want your home to look good, what do you do? You invest in new paint, paper, kitchen, bathroom, flooring or perhaps new windows, etc. etc.

When you to work in a particular field, what do you do?  You invest time and money to get the right qualifications and skills to pursue your chosen career!

When you want a relaxing break, what do you do? You invest time and money looking for a place in the sun with all the trimmings, etc. etc.

So why is it, that we do not invest time and money setting out clear goals that you want and would bring you so much happiness and joy?

Soap box over!

I hope the above goes someway to explaining and answering the question 2 Be Or Not 2 Be Coached?



Life & Business Goals – Questions

Goal setting.
Open questions.
Overall Aim(goal).
What do you want?
What do you want to work towards?
What is your aim?
What do you want to achieve?
What do you want to gain?
What is your goal for the future?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
When do you want to achieve your goal?
What do you want to be?
Remember: Overall goal needs to be specific. Need to get coachee to focus on what they want to achieve rather than what they want to avoid.
Goal session
What do want to walk away with by the end of this session?
By the end of the session what do want to achieve?
Evidence Procedure
How will you know when you have achieved your goal?
What will … look like?
What will it be like when you have achieved your goal?
What will this give you?
What do you want to hear?
What will others see when you achieve your goal?
How will achieving that feel?
How can you measure your success?
What tools can you use to measure this?
How will you feel when you achieve your goal?
What will people be saying when you achieve your goal?
How will people see you when you achieve your goal?
How will you see yourself?
Imagine you achieve your goal! What’s happening around you?
Paint a picture, what will you see?
What will you be saying when you achieve your goal?
How will you celebrate success?
What do you feel like when you achieve your goal?
What do you think it will be like to achieve your goal?
Can you imagine what it will look like to achieve your goal?
What emotions will you feel when you achieve your goal?
Remember: Evidence procedure lets the coachee know what it will be like when they achieve their goal. You need to get all three predicates in at this stage (i.e. visual, kinesthetic and auditory). To find out your coachee’s preferred predicate ask a neutral question like “ What will it be like when you achieve your goal?”
Maintain positive by products of current situation
What are you doing well at the moment?
Is all about ensuring that the coachee knows what their strengths are. How can they keep their current performance where it is and focus on goal. What is the coachee willing to give up to achieve their goal.
What can they bring with them to help to work towards their goal.
What is currently working?
How can you ensure you maintain these strengths?
What good things would you like to bring with you?
What will you lose by doing ………
What can you bring forward to support your goal?
How will you maintain your current performance whilst you are developing?
What sacrifices are you willing to make to achieve your goal?
What measurements can you put in place to ensure that your strengths stay strong and still focus on your goal?
What are your key strengths?
What are your strengths?
What do you like about your job?
What impacts will achieving your goal have on your current strengths?
How will you ensure this doesn’t happen?
What key skills do you have?
How will you maintain the positives?
What can you put in place to measure that your current performance stays in place whilst gaining your goal?
What will it feel like if working towards your goal you lose…?
Is the big picture. What will be going on around the coachee when they are working towards their goal. What’s in it for them?
What resources will you need?
How much will this cost?
How important is this to you? What reasons is this important to you?
How much time do you need?
How is achieving … in keeping with your sense of self?
How much of an impact will this have on your values and beliefs?
By achieving … what benefits will this be to you personally and the business?
Who will it effect?
How much time are you willing to put in?
What are you getting from achieving this?
What reasons are you committed to this?
Is this goal worth time and effort?
What reasons are you committed to achieving this?
What’s in this for you?
What benefits will you get from achieving …..?
How will achieving this effect your home life/social life?
Remember you only need to do the four steps on the overall aim( big goal). From here on in you work on the goal for the session.You will only need to perform the four stages of goal setting if in your second session that the overall goal changes or if it is your first coaching session with the individual.

Happiness & Success The S.M.A.R.T. Way.

Q. Why should I set myself personal goals?

A. The primary reason for this is that by setting goals you will clearly know where you are going and what you will obtain.

Also more than this it helps you to keep your mind and actions focused on obtaining realistic and personally stretching goals and desires which will benefit you in the long term.

To aid you in doing this there is a simple acronym to help you structure the way to set yourself some excellent goals -


Specific – A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. To set a specific goal you must answer the six “W” (and one “H”) questions:

*Who: Who is involved?

*What: What do I want to accomplish?

*Where: Identify a location.

*When: Establish a time frame.

*Which: Identify requirements and constraints.

*Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.

*How: How will I go about this?

EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, “Get in shape.”

A specific goal would say, “Join a health club by this date and workout 3 days a week every week.”

Measurable – Establish a tangible criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.

To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as….

*How much?

*How many?

*How will I know when it is accomplished?

EXAMPLE: What MI can you use to measure yourself?

What feedback can you use to measure yourself?

Achievable – When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals. You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

Realistic – To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work towards and achieve. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. What you need to ensure is that the goal you’re trying to achieve is stretching and at the same time of benefit, both to you and the business. A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labour of love. Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.

Time-scaled – When setting your goal you will need to set down specific deadlines you will need to consider the following:

*When do you want to achieve the goal by?

*If actions to support this goal are set, when do you want this to happen?

*At what time points do you want to review your progress?

*What and when are your key objectives?

Great speeches – Muhammad ali – I am the Greatest


“I will only acknowledge comments starting with your name prior to your comment, this is to reduce the amount of spam comments.”

Life Coaches Do Have A Sense Of Humour

I thought that for today’s post I would lighten the mood a bit with some humour. Us life coaches do have a sense of humour you know, and contrary to belief we’re also human too!
For those of you that know me, you will realise that although the stuff below is funny, there is a serious message within it too.
Is The Glass Half Full Or Half Empty?
The optimist says the glass is half full.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty.
The project manager/engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.
And the cynic… wonders who drank the other half.
The school teacher says it’s not about whether the glass is half empty or half full, it’s whether there is something in the glass at all.
Anyway… Attitude is not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it’s about who is paying for the next round.
The professional trainer does not care if the glass is half full or half empty, he just knows that starting the discussion will give him ten minutes to figure out why his powerpoint presentation is not working!
The ground-down mother of a persistently demanding five-year-old says sweetheart it’s whatever you want it to be, just please let mummy have five minutes peace and quiet.
The consultant says let’s examine the question, prepare a strategy for an answer, and all for a daily rate of…
The inquisitive troublemaker wants to know what’s in the glass anyhow… and wants the rest of it.
The homebuilder sees the dirty glass, washes and dries it, then puts it away in a custom oak and etched glass cabinet that he built himself using only hand tools.
The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.
The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn’t.
The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.
The computer specialist says that next year the glass capacity will double, be half the price, but cost you 50% more for me to give you the answer.
So, which category do you fall in to?

What is the purpose of Feedback?

Ever experienced feedback?

What was it like and how did you feel afterwards?

My experiences of feedback over the years is based on, I only seemed to get feedback when I had done something wrong!

Yet when I exceeded expectations, nothing was forthcoming, apart from the odd well done, but that is what we pay you for away.?

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback and renewed opportunities?

Feedback is about helping you to know and be aware of what you are doing well and identify any areas you may need to work on. And this should be from direct observation and feedback asap, whilst it is still fresh in the persons mind. There is no point in giving feedback more than 24 hours old, as the person in question would have generalised, distorted or deleted most of the information.

So the key is to give feedback asap after the event took place, this way you will gain maximum benefits for everyone involved.

Also the feedback must be given by the person who actually witnessed the event and not by a third party, the reason is obvious because if a person does challenge any aspect of the feedback, a third party can’t oppose or confirm, because they never actually witnessed the original event.

When you give feedback to anyone, it must based on pure facts, actually what you witnessed, that went on at the time.

It must be objective and not subjective, and the difference between the two is fact versus personal views (avoid what you already know about the person) base the feedback purely on what you have seen and witnessed yourself.

You need to make your feedback as specific as possible to enable the individual to know what they actually need to work on. Also what worked well and what didn’t work so well?

Specifics – mean to give an example of what someone said or did, i.e. it may be a question someone used, tell them what the question was that they used, to allow them to formulate this into future similar situations.

The key to feedback is to not over whelm a person with to many development areas, a because you will demotivate them and secondly we can only work on two / three development areas at any one time.

You need to reload the good points to make sure the person is aware and can continue doing them and turn them into normal habits.

Finally you need to identify the areas that require any improvement or development from this feedback session. The key is to enable a person to achieve success in bite size pieces. If there are more the two / three development areas to consider, choose the most important to deal with first, because the other areas will still be there and once the key areas have been dealt with you can then work on the other areas at a later date.

Feedback is all about development and if delivered in the correct manor, will enhance the performance and development of a person and increase their motivation at the same time.

We should all seek feedback on a regular basis, otherwise we will pick up bad habits without even knowing we have! If you don’t have feedback you will not know and this can hinder your own development.

The simple way to remember this process is via an acronym known as B.O.O.S.T.

1. Balanced  -  (ratio in favour of positive & limit development areas to 2/3),

2. Observed  - You have actually witnessed,

3. Objective  - Facts that you have actually witnessed,

4. Specific  - Provide details and examples,

5. Timely – Give feedback asap after the event took place.

Feedback should be an enjoyable experience that people want and actually seek. Because it helps to develop and motivate them as well.


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